I Edited My Mother-In-Law’s Appearance in Our Wedding Photos Because She Didn’t Follow the Dress Code

This happened at my wedding. I am very detail oriented and planned my/our wedding with my husband very meticulously. Everything was color coordinated and everything was aesthetically pleasing. Our colors were pink and black.

I wanted parents and grandparents to also wear our wedding colors, so the wedding photos would be cohesive. I specifically spoke with each person and told them the color scheme and how I would very much like everyone to color coordinate. Nobody had an issue with this, so I thought.

Both sets of husband’s grandparents went out shopping to find clothes to explicitly match our wedding party. I thought that was so cute and appreciated it immensely. My mom and I went shopping for my grandparents, because they asked us to. So they were also matching.

I offered to take my mother-in-law shopping to pick out something to wear, but she declined and said she would go with her friends. I said okay and kind of forgot about it. The night of the rehearsal, my mom asks my MIL what she is wearing, and she responds with a long dress in the wedding colors.

The next day I am getting ready in the bridal suite and my MIL moseys on up and is wearing a royal purple ball gown. She doesn’t wear makeup that often, and I was shocked to see she was wearing neon blue eyeshadow and bright pink lipstick. Her husband wore a matching tie. I was livid, but ignored it because I didn’t want it to ruin my big day.

My FIL asked me how he looked during pictures, and I responded, “You and MIL stick out like big sore purple thumbs.” He asked what that was supposed to mean, and I told him that they knew the dress code. Now they look out of place. He said he wore what was given to him and would relay the message to my MIL.

My mother-in-law approached me later in the night and asked me my issue. I asked her why she lied about her outfit choice. She said she never bought a dress that would go with our wedding colors and planned on wearing the purple dress she found. It was more true to her, and that’s what mattered.

I said that’s fine, I’ll fix the pictures in post–production. She said I would not adjust anything, they paid for the pictures and I would not alter anything. I said, any picture I post with her in it will be altered on my end, so they have no control of what I do. I excused myself and enjoyed the rest of my wedding.

My MIL has a habit of trying to make things about her and make little comments like, “Well I am the mother of the groom, my opinion counts.” Or “I can make decisions too, I’m the mother of the groom, and we are helping pay for this wedding.” My parents paid for 70% of the wedding, my in-laws paid for the photographer and the rehearsal dinner. The photographer was their friend and only charged them $800 for the whole night. The rehearsal dinner cost $300 because they chose the cheapest options for everything possible.

• I can’t stand over-controlled weddings like this because of reasons like this, but it does sound like she did it on purpose to annoy you. mononokegirl_/ Reddit
• Those are your photos, not hers. If they didn’t intend those photos as a gift (meaning you get free reign), then they should have made that clear way before the wedding. VirtualEconomy / Reddit
• It’s pretty normal for mothers of the bride and groom to match the wedding party and MIL lied to purposely clash colors and make a scene. bellePunk / Reddit
• It seems like your MIL wanted to stick out, and did so on purpose. She knew exactly what she was doing, there was no mix-up here. While I think telling people what colors to wear, asking guests to alter appearances is always a weird ask, your MIL agreed and kept up the ruse she was going to accommodate your request. andreaak88 / Reddit
• She knew what she was doing. I hope your husband is supportive because it seems like you’re in for a lifetime of these kinds of stunts. EvieE1002 / Reddit

• I just got back from my brother’s wedding, and his wife asked the family to dress in her wedding colors, which were pale pink and champagne. I told her if she really wanted that I would try to accommodate, but that pale colors and pink especially would make me look like a zombie, was she open to other colors?
  And she said it wasn’t a requirement, that my mother was wearing pale blue, and the groomsmen were wearing a medium blue, so I found a pale/soft blue dress that would work (all the formal dresses I own are black, dark blue or dark purple, and I didn’t want to be the one dark dress in a sea of light colors!). And then my shoes, purse and jewelry were light gold to try to cue into the champagne color.
  But I asked her first, instead of going off on my own thing, and made sure my choice would blend with others for the family photos. So there are ways to work with these requests, if the bride and family members are reasonable! OrindaSarnia / Reddit